Trust. Brains. And Teenagers.

Life’s all about trust.

And trust is all about . . .

I don’t know what. But I know that it’s easy to break. And takes a long time, and a lot of work, to build.

People live their lives the way they believe is right.

Or the way they believe is best for them.

Or whatever.

Some people don’t think. They just feel.

I think. [Therefore, I am?]

I think that everyone needs to scrutinize the values they grew up with. To think again and again, about what is right and what is wrong. And not to just assume that everything people tell them, is true.

Like “The Wave.” Like the Nazi party. Like radical Islam. These stories might not have happened if the laypeople had used their heads.

And it’s not just that.

No one is perfect. No one was raised perfectly.

What do we believe? What do we like about how we were raised, and what just plain sucked?

It’s not a sin to rethink your upbringing. It’s what the teenage years are for.

Yitzchak and I recently had a discussion about high school.

He’s all for sending Shlomo to Crown Heights. I say, no way are we sending a fourteen-year-old so far away.

We haven’t come to a conclusion yet, except that we’ll look into the individual options, and look closely at who Shlomo is, when the time comes to think about high school.

I get why he wants to send Shlomo to Crown Heights. But it’s just too far. And what he’s suggesting isn’t a perfect solution.

At any rate.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that we should be making sure that our relationship with our kids is strong enough, and positive enough, to survive the teenage rebellion stage.

(Yes, Shlomo, our eldest, is in preschool. So what? The relationship between parents and kids takes years to build. If you don’t start early, you miss your chance.)

Yitzchak said, “That’s one of the advantages to sending them away for high school. If they’re not at home when the rebellious phase starts, they get all the independence they want, and start to miss their parents. And then they call up Mom and Dad every other day, to ask advice.” Yitzchak cites this as one of the reasons why out-of-town (shlichus, or Chabad emissary) kids were always more mature than those who lived in-town. I don’t know if he’s right. But it’s interesting to think about.

I don’t know if it’s scientifically correct. But on the other hand, as a teacher, I get what he’s saying.

I need to put some thought into that subject. I never thought of it in that light before. Hmm.

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