About two years ago, I read an article that basically said: “I know that this doesn’t always work immediately, but the vast majority of people I work with (she’s a natural healer) end up with what they truly wanted. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes you have to figure out what you want – but in the end, each of us gets what she really, truly, wanted.”
When I read this, I started “kicking and screaming” – what?? I didn’t want X, I didn’t want Y, and I certainly didn’t want Z! This person did such-and-such and I wish to G-d she hadn’t.
After a while, I realized that in a sense, what she said is true . . .
I really did want some of those things. And that article led me to some soul searching, and consequently, I became much more in touch with my inner self. Also, part of being able to receive what I really wanted then, was getting rid of the emotional block that was preventing it. I simply recognized the issue, realized that this was what was causing the problem, and promised myself that I would not put myself in that situation again.
And a short time later, I really did get what I wanted.
Since then, the scenario has repeated itself several times.Every so often, and every time I’m frustrated with a given situation, I sit back and do some introspection. What is *really* frustrating me? Not “Yitzchak is never home.” But, “Yitzchak works long hours, and often travels to different cities. I want Yitzchak to find a better job, in *this* city, or maximum, in Be’er Sheva.”
Granted, that hasn’t happened yet. But there is another player – Yitzchak – and he hasn’t quite figured out what kind of job he wants to switch to yet. (Well, he has. But either he’s not completely sure which job he wants, or he thinks that he stands no chance. Which is bunk, because he is probably head and shoulders above every other candidate out there.)
So does it make sense to say that Yitzchak and I wanted to wait an entire year between getting engaged and getting married? No. But then again, it could be that we were nervous and insecure, and not 100% settled on what we *did* want (where we wanted to live, whose degree would be put on hold, etc.).
At any rate . . . the flip side is that you have to be very careful to only want the right things. And that you shouldn’t have even a teeny-tiny bit of a wish to have something that isn’t . . . what you really would want to have happen.
The continuation of this concept is that during our journey through life, we choose (consciously or subconsciously) people to be our friends, life partners, mentors, etc. who will, consciously or subconsciously, help us achieve those goals.
Which makes perfect sense, especially if you look at the daughter of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic, and say, “What under the sun did you do *that* for??” – She did it because deep down, she feels that he can help her achieve her personal goals, or her emotional goals. Perhaps she wants to “fix” her childhood, by divorcing the alcoholic, or sending him to a 12 Steps program.
We don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t know, either. But again – she chose someone who could help her achieve her goals. Just like the rest of us.
So next time life gets tough, think to yourself: What do I *really* want to have happen? What’s preventing my dream from becoming reality?
And if your answer includes someone else – that’s not really the answer.
The real answer is something within *you* . . . a part of you that invited this difficulty, asked for this difficulty, and doesn’t want life to be any different right now.