Out Of Touch

Sometimes I feel really out of touch with all of my old classmates, and the world in general.  I have friends, yes, but they are mostly mothers, so once-in-a-while phone calls are considered fine, and there’s always a feeling of, “We should keep in better touch,” between us.  But we don’t.  Okay, so what?  We find it easier to keep in touch with people that we see on a daily basis, that live in our neighborhood, or that call us instead of waiting for us to call them.  And that’s fine.

So why do I feel out of touch?  Well, here are a few possibilities:

I don’t have Facebook.

I don’t have Pinterest.

I don’t have Twitter.

I have LinkedIn, but we both know that that’s not saying much.  And, I hardly ever sign in, anyways.

I don’t know what half of the sites I hear about are (Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit).

I don’t know how to properly use a webcam (not that anyone uses those anymore, anyways).

I don’t like to spend a lot of time on the phone.  That need wore off during the hours that I spent on the phone with Yitzchak, and with other people who were “helping” (or really helping) us arrange our wedding.

I don’t like to talk too much about the nitty-gritty details of my life.  And I don’t like to share too much of it with family, either.  (This is the result of a few very nasty experiences with a few people in my family. It’s became a more global fear that has prevented me from speaking to anyone, just in case they don’t keep their word and end up telling my secrets.)  Because, honestly, my life feels really boring most of the time.  That’s not a complaint – I like life to be boring.  I’ve had more than my share of interesting stuff, so please, G-d, keep my life incredibly boring for the next sixty or seventy years.  Regular stuff – kvetchy kids, teething, money worries that usually get resolved, that kind of boring stuff.  Incredibly boring.  Everybody knows about this stuff.  And yet, in my mind, a boring life is the best kind.  Then again – if life is boring (thank G-d, please G-d, only the good kind of boring) what is there to talk about?

I don’t feel like there is too much to tell, so I usually feel awkward starting a conversation, or answering questions.  I am also not very good with open-ended questions like, “How are you?”  I’m fine, thank G-d.  How are you?  If you’d really like to know the answer to your question, you will have to be specific.  In general, people who ask, “How are you?” generally don’t really want the answer, anyways.  (This I learned the hard way.)

I don’t live near most of my childhood/teenage friends.  So, when I get updates or an alumni newsletter, I feel really out of touch.

I don’t even know what to say to half of these people, should I happen to see that they are online and Google chat them.

And . . . I work from home, which means that I don’t get a lot of adult social interaction unless I actively look for it.  To be honest, I don’t usually have the energy.  It’s a bit easier now, because I have a friend (O.) who comes to work on her own stuff in the area, and stops by to talk – a few times a week.  And I am watching my neighbor’s baby, so she comes by to nurse him every few hours, and we often talk.  But it’s not the same.  Plus, now that I am watching Y.’s baby, I can’t just “make my own hours” and schedule shopping trips whenever I want.  I watch her baby and Shlomo, work when they let me, and work some more when Yitzchak comes home and Eli (the other baby) has left.

So I guess it’s no surprise that I often feel out of touch with the world.

The question is: Is that really a bad thing?

I’m not sure . . . but I do know that many people are too “connected” nowadays via the internet to really put much energy into real-world relationships.  So I think I’ll stick with what I’ve got.  Thank G-d that I have what I have.