Out Of Touch

social media networks, social media, facebook, twitter, social life, online social life, online socializing, keeping in touch, out of touch, technology

Sometimes I feel really out of touch with all of my old classmates, and the world in general.  I have friends, yes, but they are mostly mothers, so once-in-a-while phone calls are considered fine, and there’s always a feeling of, “We should keep in better touch,” between us.  But we don’t.  Okay, so what?  We find it easier to keep in touch with people that we see on a daily basis, that live in our neighborhood, or that call us instead of waiting for us to call them.  And that’s fine.

So why do I feel out of touch?  Well, here are a few possibilities:

I don’t have Facebook.

I don’t have Pinterest.

I don’t have Twitter.

I have LinkedIn, but we both know that that’s not saying much.  And, I hardly ever sign in, anyways.

I don’t know what half of the sites I hear about are (Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit).

I don’t know how to properly use a webcam (not that anyone uses those anymore, anyways).

I don’t like to spend a lot of time on the phone.  That need wore off during the hours that I spent on the phone with Yitzchak, and with other people who were “helping” (or really helping) us arrange our wedding.

I don’t like to talk too much about the nitty-gritty details of my life.  And I don’t like to share too much of it with family, either.  (This is the result of a few very nasty experiences with a few people in my family. It’s became a more global fear that has prevented me from speaking to anyone, just in case they don’t keep their word and end up telling my secrets.)  Because, honestly, my life feels really boring most of the time.  That’s not a complaint – I like life to be boring.  I’ve had more than my share of interesting stuff, so please, G-d, keep my life incredibly boring for the next sixty or seventy years.  Regular stuff – kvetchy kids, teething, money worries that usually get resolved, that kind of boring stuff.  Incredibly boring.  Everybody knows about this stuff.  And yet, in my mind, a boring life is the best kind.  Then again – if life is boring (thank G-d, please G-d, only the good kind of boring) what is there to talk about?

I don’t feel like there is too much to tell, so I usually feel awkward starting a conversation, or answering questions.  I am also not very good with open-ended questions like, “How are you?”  I’m fine, thank G-d.  How are you?  If you’d really like to know the answer to your question, you will have to be specific.  In general, people who ask, “How are you?” generally don’t really want the answer, anyways.  (This I learned the hard way.)

I don’t live near most of my childhood/teenage friends.  So, when I get updates or an alumni newsletter, I feel really out of touch.

I don’t even know what to say to half of these people, should I happen to see that they are online and Google chat them.

And . . . I work from home, which means that I don’t get a lot of adult social interaction unless I actively look for it.  To be honest, I don’t usually have the energy.  It’s a bit easier now, because I have a friend (O.) who comes to work on her own stuff in the area, and stops by to talk – a few times a week.  And I am watching my neighbor’s baby, so she comes by to nurse him every few hours, and we often talk.  But it’s not the same.  Plus, now that I am watching Y.’s baby, I can’t just “make my own hours” and schedule shopping trips whenever I want.  I watch her baby and Shlomo, work when they let me, and work some more when Yitzchak comes home and Eli (the other baby) has left.

So I guess it’s no surprise that I often feel out of touch with the world.

The question is: Is that really a bad thing?

I’m not sure . . . but I do know that many people are too “connected” nowadays via the internet to really put much energy into real-world relationships.  So I think I’ll stick with what I’ve got.  Thank G-d that I have what I have.

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10 thoughts on “Out Of Touch

  1. It’s kind of ironic that you don’t like to share about your life yet you have blog.
    I am also limited in terms of my use of social media and find I spend the majority of my time with the people in my neighborhood. After all, I see them on Shabbos and Yom Tov. We are at the same place. To make plans with others, requires more time and effort.

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    • Hm, you’re right . . .
      I guess it’s easier to write than to talk. I also have more to say when I write, for some reason.
      Plus, you know how many times I edit each post?
      I don’t have that advantage when speaking . . .

      Yes, neighbors are definitely the easiest people to spend time with!

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  2. I feel out of touch too, but I’m at peace with it. Generally, I actually prefer it. If I want to contact a friend, I call or email them. If they want to contact me, they’ll find a way. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and all of these other social media sites have no sway over me and for the ones I do have, they’re empty.

    When I feel really out of touch, I contact one of my friends who is more “in touch” and get the updates. I’ve come to terms with moving on from old friends. They’ve changed and are in different places, as am I. I have new friends and I’m sure they do too. If I saw them it would be nice and we would catch up, but I’m okay with just hearing the news about them from afar.

    The “How are you?” question. I brush that question off and only ask it if I genuinely want to know the answer. If I’m asking, I’ll probe further than “How are you?”

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    • You’re right. It’s just hard for me to “get over” stuff. But yes, everyone moves on and everyone has new friends – including myself.

      Getting in touch with someone who is up-to-date is a great idea. I think I’ll try that. 🙂

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      • Somewhat. But, with Passover, life got busy enough that I actually forgot about being out of touch. 🙂
        The thing with emails is that the unread ones start to pile up when you don’t open them right away. But I agree with you, it’s a good thing to be able to do.

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      • Ha.

        Oh no, you reminded me. I had successfully blocked out from my mind that I have countless emails piling up in my main inbox. I guess I should go look at them now. Sigh.

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      • Oh, if only it were that easy. But after a few hours of beating myself up about them I shoved them from my mind. And right now I’m too tired to even think about them, so not worried about them badgering me again anytime soon. Soon being next time I look at my email account. At least my blog email address is holding at 0 unread.

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