No, I don’t mean to ask why people get married instead of just living together. That is a different story, for a different post. In short, living together is not a good recipe for marriage. But again, later.
My question is: Why do people want to find “that special someone” so much? Yitzchak says that it’s because we’re programmed that way. While I certainly believe this, it also seems kind of unbelievable, amazing and just too unthinkable that people only want to get married because of biology and hormones. I mean, doesn’t it? And while I’m all for kids growing up in stable, two-parent homes, in today’s day and age, you don’t need a spouse in order to have a child. So, why get married?
I’m not even sure why we got married. I know why we chose each other, and more specifically why I chose him. But why I – or anyone else, for that matter – even wanted to get married is beyond me. Marriage means more stress, less time for yourself, dealing with another person on a daily basis (or going through a headache x100 to get divorced), more responsibility, less freedom. It means a higher income and slightly lower taxes, but also higher bills, children (usually), sharing your financial status, worrying about two jobs and two sets of transportation issues. . . Maybe I wanted to get married because in our community, and in the world at large, when your friends get married, your connection with them changes. And unless you want to be constantly making new friends (and I am antisocial, so I don’t), you have to do the same.
Or maybe it is just biology. I don’t know. Anyone want to enlighten me?